did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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