I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
