this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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