I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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