so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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