yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
