oh god the rape fog is back!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
