I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
