even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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