break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
