I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
