I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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