They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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