dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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