god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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