so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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