did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
two words: eviction party
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
