I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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