i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
