I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
