if i can run in heels then i can drive
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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