He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
