So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize