It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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