another moral hangover. fuck.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
we're making bets on your personal life
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
