I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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