I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
