they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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