How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
