i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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