I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
