He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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