Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
