STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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