my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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