porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
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