Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
