it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
