first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
