If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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