I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i think my tv is drunk
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
