Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
