UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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