guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
