She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I had to cum in my sink.
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