So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
