went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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