Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
