Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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