I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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