he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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