Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
COCAINE IS GR8
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
