and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
