i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
