Say something about gay babies.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
