just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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