Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
