i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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