You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize