just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
