loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize