Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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