i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
