That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
