Kiss
Puke
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize