ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
