I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
